9 Reasons Why Dating Is A Lot Like Owning A Credit Card

This is a guest post from Alban a personal finance writer.


Spending money on ourselves and others has long been a way to make us feel good and since it's often argued that love and money make the world go around it is not surprising that we are able to compare the two. Psychologists say that the way we view money is largely determined by the way we were brought up with some families choosing to show love by buying gifts and other families seeing gift giving as unnecessary and frivolous. Unfortunately, financial incompatibility is one of the most dangerous threats to a relationship and partners who have the same attitude to money is quite rare. Listing both the pros and cons of owning a credit card and dating, here is what we came up with...

1. Your history can come back to bite you - If you have ever borrowed money or owned a credit card before, you have a history that shows potential lenders whether or not you are a good credit risk. It asks questions like: Did you pay your loan off ahead of time or were you late every month? How many credit cards you have? What is your job history? So like dating you'll want your history (and more importantly those who will remember it i.e. your friends and family) to include nice things that can be said about it. The simple rule with money and love is to treat them with respect. You work hard to buy nice things and spend your money as you wish so it deserves your careful consideration; and like dating, people have emotions and feelings so they deserve honesty and appreciation (as do you).

2. If you aren't careful the costs can add up - With $30 billion a year being billed to the accounts of credit card holders in extra fees, credit card companies will find a way to charge you for almost anything. So when you compare the costs of owning a credit card like Annual fees, Cash advance fees, Balance transfer fees, Late payment fees and Over the limit fees with the costs of dating... dinners, drinks, flowers, movies, birthdays and anniversaries (plus watch out for those hidden fees like "the anniversary of the first time you stayed over" or "the I need something new to wear for Aunty Joan's wedding") it is easy to accumulate unwanted debt.

A piece of advice is to avoid those dating websites. Don't pay money to talk to a computer screen, walk outside, go to a cafe or bar, interact and make connections with people. It will cost you $4 for a cup of coffee or a beer and you'll get to meet as many people as you want; rather than $19.95 for 4 "kisses" for you to find out the person you've been dating on the net for a year has chronic halitosis (medical term for bad breath, and yeah, there's a year of your life gone).

3. Having more than one at a time can make your life tough - When it comes to managing a credit card, like having a partner, it can sometimes get hard, so think carefully before you think about getting a second one. It is in our nature to like to see what else is out there, compare and contrast, but like dating more than one person, owning more than one credit card can have perks and drawbacks.

4. You might want to get out but can't! - Whether it's with a credit card contract or on a date, being locked in sucks. In the past, credit cards often refused to disclose their full terms and conditions until you had applied and been accepted. When the contract finally arrived, the most costly fees and penalties were usually hidden in 20 pages of fine print loaded with legal terms (which can be a lot like being on the date from hell). We always see in the movies that it's a good idea to have an emergency backup plan to get you out of a bad date. The iPhone even has Apps called "Fake Caller" and "Fake Text", which allow you to pick a contact from your phone and set a timer for your phone to ring or send a text. So just imagine the performance you're about to put on is what you want the audience to see when you're receiving your Oscar nomination, be a bit creative and you'll be fine.

5. You need to be a good negotiator to get what you want - Many people see credit card providers as daunting people to deal with, mainly because they are either a bank or financial company and can seem unapproachable. But what many people don't realise is that like getting to spend time with your mates, getting a golf game in, going to a footy game or reducing interest rates, it's all possible if you know what to say. The most important thing is to plan what you are going to say. When formerly bringing up the matter, it shouldn't be the first time the other party is hearing these feelings. Write down all the possible objections you might encounter and prepare well thought out answers that address any follow up questions and result in win/win outcomes. For example, "Hey Honey, I might go to the footy on Sunday, since you've got Emma's baby shower and then I'll have enough time to pick us up some food from your favourite place and rent that DVD you wanted to see". Or consequently "Hello Sir, I'd like to change the due date of my bill from the first of the month to mid-month. I have always paid my bills on time, however my new Accountancy job pays in arrears and as a long serving and loyal customer it would be of benefit to both of us".

6. The rewards are sweet! – Getting rewarded for using your credit card means you get to earn something back for your spending. These can be redeemed in various ways and like dating; getting to know someone, enjoying the time you spend together and the possibility of finding love can be a reward in itself. While credit card rewards are more material, like cashback offers, merchandise and frequent flyer miles, dating rewards us emotionally and spiritually (which is equally desirable). However, in a similar fashion regarding our two topics of comparison, we shouldn't be fooled into thinking we will get something for nothing. It is ill-advised to spend unnecessarily to earn points and equally unwise to create unrealistic expectations from dating.

7. There are plenty out there - Great news when comparing credit cards or looking for a date. Your financial situation may not warrant you a Platinum Amex with a $100,000 limit but you can be sure there is a plan tailor made for you; just like there is someone out there for everyone. It is recommended for your credit card you do your research and try new places and new things to find dates. That way when you’re onto a good thing, you’ll know it!

8. It is good for you! – Spending money (within your means of course) is good for the economy and meeting people and dating is good for your confidence and development. It’s no coincidence that governments are always promoting consumer stimulus packages and social events for the entire population. When we spend money, our economy booms and this raises our currency’s worth and attracts other countries to trade with us. Equally, meeting people from different countries is a great chance to boost our tourism levels but more personally find love in a place you would never have thought to visit.

9. You need to choose the best one for you - It all comes down to this. The great thing about credit cards and dating are you can take your time to make the best choice. Looking for someone with common interests is like looking for a card that works with how you spend. A partnership where you enjoy doing things for each other should be like a card that rewards you for spending, saving, loyalty and punctuality.

Alban is personal finance writer. He helps people to use their credit card wisely and find the best credit card for their needs.